Shower Night

There is nothing more horrible to my children than the dreaded shower night. I require that they bathe every other night and to them even this is such an injustice. It always starts with me saying "it's shower night, who wants to go first?" I'm not sure why I ever bother to ask this question, no one ever volunteers. Then I usually I ask "who's turn is it to go first?". Another silly question that I really should never ask because everyone is sure they went first last time and it would be a terrible crime for them to go first twice in a row. I usually try to plead with them saying "you all have to take a shower in the next hour anyway, why does it matter who goes first?", which always falls on deaf ears. Next I usually try to volunteer someone. Tonight it was Marcus, here's how that went.

Me: Marcus, time to get in the shower.
Marcus (falling into a puddle on the floor): But mom! I hate showers!
Me: Don't you want to be nice and clean?
Marcus (scowling at me): I hate being clean
Me: If you don't get clean then you will be all stinky
Marcus: Well if I am stinky, at least Allison won't give me a hug at school tomorrow.
Me: *Sigh*
Marcus: Plus, it's Jason's turn to go first.

This strategy does work on occasion but tonight I wasn't swaying anyone. I used to have them pick a number between one and ten, whoever got the closest had to go first. This worked until Jason and Nathan figured out that you just have to pick one or ten and then it would be Marcus that usually went first. So now we are down to drawing straws or doing rock, paper, scissors. Tonight they drew toothpicks and Nathan "lost". He plead that it wasn't fair since he didn't get to pick a toothpick. Jason and Marcus had chosen their toothpicks first and second and Nathan got the last one. I wasn't hearing it. I sent him to the shower with tears streaming down his cheeks.