A Date with the Devil

Today I had an appointment with my arch nemesis. The Dentist.

It has been a long time coming, I am too embarrassed to even say when the last time I went to one was.

I hate them! All of them! They are all evil and barbaric. They use a tool that looks like a sickle and an ice pick, and another tool that looks like it came out of a Dremel kit. My dentist called that one Mr. Bumpy because it makes every bone in your head vibrate like a subwoofer.

I knew this wasn't going to be a good visit. The last time I went to the dentist I had a really bad experience (it was worse than child birth I tell you) and was just too chicken to go back. That was years ago. When the receptionist asked me when the last time I saw a dentist and I told her, she asked me two more times to make sure she was hearing me right. She did.

My simple cleaning appointment quickly turned into a four hour appointment that involved lots of shots, drilling, gum cutting, crying, teeth picking, and picture taking. It was my worst nightmare. I am weird and for some reason do not do well with being numbed up. Everything else gets numb except for the one spot I would really like to be numb. I was numb all the way up to my eyelids, and let me just say numb eyelids is not as fun as is sounds, but my damn tooth was still as unnumb as could be.

Somehow I managed to get through the appointment. I need crowns, inlays, onlays, root canals, and some other stuff that I have no idea what are. Next I have to make an appointment with an oral surgeon to continue this dreadful journey. Someone might just have to pull a gun on me to make the appointment though. Because I think I might just rather be missing a few teeth than to go through that again.

I hate dentists.

And Mr. Bumpy can kiss my you know what.